BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES, S2E2: Keep Westeros Weird

So where were we? Bad news red comet in the sky, bad news redhead on the ground. That's about it, right? We pick up with Lil' Katniss, who is still on whatever the opposite of the Yellow Brick Road is when the King's Bastard Killing Party catches up with her chain gang. Katniss blows her cover with Chris From Skins, but it turns out he already knew she was a chick anyway, and then of course it turns out they're looking for him. Luckily there's a certain honor amongst thieves (except for the dudes they keep in a cage for some reason) and so the King's Men go home with neither Chris nor Katniss. And a wonderful friendship continues to be born. These two! I love them! When Chris finds out that Katniss is a Stark, he's flustered by his weeks of impropriety. And when he sees how much that annoys Katniss, he does it even more. Awwww! I just want to watch them josh each other around for a full hour. Especially because, like, not much else is going on.

The Night's Watchmen are still hanging out at Incest Palace, and Samwise Gangrene tells Jon Snow that Cassie From Skins (her character name is, I think, Gilly. But no.) is pregnant. Jon Snow is, rather rightly, like, "So the fuck what?" But it turns out she's scared of what will happen (to herself, or maybe her child?) if she gives birth to a boy. So maybe Jon's line from last time about "What does he do with the boys?" is not a Sandusky joke, after all!

Elsewhere, Baldy McNodick turns up in Tyrion's quarters, chatting with Lisbeth Salander. And of course nobody is supposed to know she's there against Tywin's wishes. McNodick does his Evil Perez Hilton act for a few minutes, threatening to go public with this information, until Tyrion has to be like, "Dude, I'll fucking kill you." So that is maybe that. I hope that is that! I want Tyrion to be happy! And why doesn't the Eunuch have Tyrion's same fondness for fellow weirdos? You two weirdos should be on the same team!

Speaking of our main man, he tries to persuade Queen "Assistant (To The) Regional King" Cersei to take the threat of zombies above the ice wall seriously, and she's like, "That is silly." And to be fair, it is. But obviously Tyrion will be vindicated on this one. (Politically, Game Of Thrones is a little tough to deal with today. Nobody offers Cassie an exception for her incest baby, mysticism is good military strategy...and this from a show that put George Bush's head on a spike?)

Something happens with Dany and her dragons, but like, I don't even remember what. They're still in the desert and screwed, OK? Give me a break. It was like two weeks ago when I watched this episode, and also her scene is immediately followed by a RANDOM SEX MONTAGE.

In the whorehouse, Original Redhead is still super bummed about watching that baby get stabbed last week. Totally normal reaction, I'd say, but she's letting it interfere with her work, so Littlefinger has to be a dick to her. It's not fun. Remember that scene in The Sopranos when Silvio Dante was so mean to that Hilary Swank-looking stripper? Like, it's a drag to see your favorite characters be such jerks, but then you remember you mostly like them for the other, but different, jerky things they do.

A few other things happened (OK, I guess A LOT of things happened, but none of them felt very important):

Tyrion fires the police chief and appoints Bro in his stead. Bro is just like "Yup." CLASSIC BRO.

Some dudes representing Stannis hire a kind of fun-seeming pirate dude. You seem like you'll be a cool character, dude!

Theon visits his old home, and his family reunion is not as warm as he thought it would be. Well, I mean it is--he gets a ride from a girl and fingers her and then she's like "SURPRISE, I'M YOUR SISTER"--but that's a different kind of warm reception. Ew. And then his dad is just like, "fuck you, son." (Not in the same way, though.)

Finally, Stannis is chatting with Bad News Redhead and she's like, "Fuck me" (in the first way). And he's like "I have a wife." And we're like "You do?" And then he fucks her, on a map. Symbolic probably, right? There's a few other omens and portents and stuff in this episode, but you know, let's analyze it later and spend the week writing Lil' Katniss/Chris From Skins comic strips, OK?