BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES, S3E07: The Color Blue

photo by Terry Richardson

I watched Game Of Thrones seasons 1 and 2 before I picked up any of the books, but between seasons two and three I read ahead. I did that on purpose; I like having a varied perspective. I experienced the Harry Potter series and Twilight (of course) the same way, and I'd highly recommend it to you, whenever possible. It keeps you interested in both iterations, rather than one (usually) ruining the other.

And this week's episode of Game Of Thrones was, to me, quite interesting, because the vast majority of it was not in the books. Which also made me a little uneasy, because presumably the show is still headed in the general direction the books are, meaning that a lot of the dust being kicked up right now will ultimately amount to nothing. It probably doesn't help that today I also re-watched some of the Mad Men episodes where Don was banging that pretty school teacher. What happened to her? I miss her.

Then again: does everything need to lead to something? Isn't the impression that "all the pieces matter" what makes so many shows irritating? Lost? How I Met Your Mother? Maybe I should be okay with Game Of Thrones occasionally wandering in a circle. Such is life, right? And maybe they're doing it for my benefit as a book reader. Does it sound like I'm trying to talk myself out of thinking this was a bad episode?

OK, enough of that. What happens in this episode? Well, Robb and his wife are having a baby! Oh good, the gods really need ANOTHER Stark to fuck with endlessly, right? Hey, do you think Robb Stark yells "Winterfell!" when he orgasms?

Elsewhere, now on the civilized side of the wall, Ygritte makes fun of the idea of "roads," only to be dazzled later in the episode by a broken-down windmill. Girl, just wait. You are about to SEE some SHIT. But how can anybody be impressed by any structure more than a 700-foot ice wall? Later, our girl Y dodges a weird pick-up attempt by Gareth from The Ouffice and then gets a history lesson from Jon Snow (long story short--this isn't the first time the Wildlings have invaded the south and it won't be the last). She has the best line of the episode, the only somewhat Bon Jovi-y "We'll die, but first we'll live."And then Ginger Bigfoot gives sex advice to Jon, I guess, or maybe just to everybody? Is that how he entertains them all on long hikes?

Sansa, fresh from hearing she'll be wed to Tyrion, is pretty upset. But Marge tells her to look on the bright side--sure, some may see Tyrion as half-short, but optimists see him as half-tall! Plus Marge hears he's good at sex and thinks his scar is sexy. Marge is an interesting lady, huh? Meanwhile Tyrion and Bronn have a conversation about the morality of thinking about fucking Sansa. To think about fucking Sansa or not to think about fucking Sansa--that is the question yet again. For a lot of people really. Later, Tyrion deals with the now very angry and jealous Shae, a character for whom I am abruptly losing my patience!

In the far east, Dany's dragons and wit are growing ever stronger and faster. She's about to invade another slave city, and treats with one of the overseers, a guy who seems to be always on the verge of breaking into a Jersey mobster accent. Obviously she'll kill them all soon, but we have to wait an episode or two for that. There were some kind of Kubrickian flourishes in the Dany section this week which I really enjoyed, by the way. Dig the one-point perspective in the first cap below!

Last few things:

• Arya, dissatisfied with the Brotherhood after they sold out Gendry, wanders from camp and gets kidnapped by The Hound. Out of the frying pan and into the other frying pan and into the other frying pan and into the other frying pan and into the other frying pan as usual for our girl Arya. Whatever, she'll be fine. 

• Theon continues to languish in a meta version of Eli Roth's Hostel. The less said about it the better. But you know, there was at least some gratuitous nudity!

• Osha tells a boring story. Bran's plot advances exactly zero percent. 

• Jamie, on his way back to King's Landing, learns from Maester Mengele that Brienne, still captive at Harrenhall, is going to be tonight's "entertainment" for Locke and his asshole friends. So he goes rushing back and gets to be in, to date, this show's most heroic "guy jumping down from a thing" shot. Yeah Jamie's redemption arc! I love it! He saves Brienne from a fucking bear (by, fair enough, mostly just standing in the way for a sec) and they set out for King's Landing together. As it should be, forever and ever, amen.