BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES S3E09: It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

When I first started really getting into the Game Of Thrones world, I started hearing e-whisperings and tweet-mumblings of a future event known as The Red Wedding. In fact, those sort of whisperings were what drove me to reading the books ahead of the series; I figured waiting was too dangerous, spoiler-wise. (And given the way tweets were flying around as it first aired, I was almost certainly right.)

So, when I was reading, knowing as I did that a wedding between Joffery and Marge was coming, I found myself hoping they (or rather, just Joffrey) were the ones for whom The Red Wedding referred. Back then, Arya had just gotten the coin from Jaqen H'ghar, and I envisioned a scene of spectacular badassery somehow involving the two of them. I was actually pumped, so sure was I that it would happen.

But no. That is not what happened. I was so naive! At The Red Wedding, Robb, his pregnant wife, and his mother are all grotesquely murdered by the Freys and Roose Bolton. Does anybody need a hug? That was a lot more brutal than I thought it would be.

And it feels different than your average TV shock, doesn't it? Worse. I guess it's because, when it happens, you want to ask "Why?" And the answer is, "No particular reason." Sure, the inevitability of Robb's military loss has been following him around like a direwolf pup for weeks, but it didn't have to end like this. This was unnecessary. Which is kind of the point! (Cat Stark slitting a mostly-innocent young girl's throat in a pointless final gasp of rage really drove that point home.)

But let's go back. A few other interesting things happened elsewhere.

In an amazing but still fairly believable confluence of events, Jon and Bran end up within a few hundred feet of each other. See, Bran and the Scooby Gang are holing up in an abandoned castle to take shelter from a storm, and Jon and the Wildlings are chasing down Tilda Swinton's dad, who is honestly just some old dude the Wildlings decided to kill. Of course, they don't get to say hi to each other, since Jon is currently tight with guys who just kill Tilda Swinton's dad for no reason. But still, it's cool that they were so close by!

In a conflagration that is too difficult to explain in less than like two thousand words, the following things happen:

1. Bran discovers that he can control the minds of other people, or at least Hodor. (I mean honestly, as far as mind control goes, Hodor is decidedly farm league, am I right?)
2. Ygritte kills Tilda Swinton's dad when Jon refuses to do so.
3. Jon finally kills stupid Gareth from The Office--or does he? Or is Gareth permanently in his pet eagle's body from now on?
4. Jon flees on horseback, away from the Wildlings, including Ygritte. C'mon, Jon.
5. Bran realizes that everything Jojen Reed has told him is true, and sends Osha and Rickon packing.

That's really the biggest shock of this episode: Rickon has a bunch of lines! But it is probably the last we'll see of him for a very long time, as he and Osha make for the Umber family stronghold rather than cross the Wall with Bran. Still: good job, little buddy! I'm still not entirely convinced that you are not a friendly ghost. 

Meanwhile, Dany dispatches her new bestie Wario, along with Jorah and Grey Worm, into Yunkai to kick enough ass that the slave army defending the city will throw down their arms and join them. Obviously, they succeed. How awesome was Grey Worm during that fight scene? I couldn't take my eyes off his twirling spear and grim stare. That guy rules. So is Dany is lovvve with Wario or what? Are you guys shipping them SO HARD already?

And then we're back to The Twins, and Robb, and the fucking Red Wedding. In a tragic mirror version of Jon/Bran, Arya and The Hound arrive at the castle just as the slaughter begins. Arya watches Robb's wolf die, and The Hound grudgingly saves her again. Nobody else is so lucky.

In the books, Robb's wife is not pregnant and not in attendance at the wedding. So, in case you were wondering why her death was so abrupt and so gruesome: it was to fuck with those of us who thought we were prepared for this scene. Nobody was prepared for it. From there, it is all blood and screams and horror, a TV moment that will live in infamy from now on. But like, the kind of infamy where you really have to admire the balls of it. Big fucking brass ones, man. And at the end, Robb, Cat, and a whole bunch of other people are dead.

How are you all doing? Do you need to talk through your feelings?