Winter is truly coming in Westeros, and it's coming hard. We're talking Peter North-type shit. Stannis and his gang seem pretty well screwed (we're talking James Deen-type shit), especially when what at first seems like Melisandre's version of a sex dream turns out to be real, and fires break out all over Camp Stannis. The suggestion is that it was a stealth attack from Ramsay Snow, but we are sadly denied any Apocalypse Now-ian images of him at war in the wild. Some might say it's more disturbing to see the attack and not the attacker. Others might say it's cheaper! Anyway, Stannis's desperate times lead abruptly to desperate measures, and he sends Davos off on a bogus "don't stop me from killing my daughter" mission and proceeds to kill his daughter.
Yes, the more cynical among us probably saw this coming, and we now all understand that Stannis's tender moment with his daughter earlier this season was just a cloying point A to reach a crueler point B. This Walking Dead-esque "set up and punch out" writing has been creeping into Game Of Thrones a lot lately, and is maybe indicative of a once-rich story running out of runway. Or maybe not! It was gut-wrenching, though, and I mean that as a compliment! When you factor in that none of this is real, you sort of have to appreciate that a show can create that kind of emotional reaction in you.
It's not all horrible child-murder, though. There's also child prostitution, and regular, recreational murder! Street Assassin Arya is still working on killing the crooked insurance salesman when Ser Meryn arrives in Braavos, accompanying The Lorax Tyrell, who speaks now not only for the trees, but also for the ruined finances of the Iron Throne. Abandoning her post, Arya tracks him to a whorehouse, where he demands increasingly young flesh. OK, we get it--this guy deserves to get got. And I'm sure he will! But not until next week.
Mereenwhile, Dany, Daario, her husband Hizdo Ro-Red Shirt, and her new side chick Tyrion preside over the opening ceremonies of Mereenese Olympics, which are like the the normal Olympics but with more goofily chopped-off heads. The show has a lot of fun getting to pretend to be
Gladiator for a hot second, but the oddly charming scene turns terrifying when the Sons Of The Harpy, placated no more, stage an assassination attempt on Dany. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Of The Slaves is killed, and Dany and our gang get nail-bitingly cornered. And then it's DRAGON TYME, BABY!
Drogon swoops the fuck in, and to the Sons Of The Harpy's credit, only like, 85% of them scatter in terror. And most of our people are still at risk, in fact, when Dany hops on her dragon's back and bails. Which, you know, I get. I mean, she's worked so hard to keep this city together, and nothing has worked. Our girl deserves to, even temporarily, throw up her hands and just say "Fuck this!" I hope the season finale is just an hour of Dany on a beach sipping a god damned Mai Tai.
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