BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES S5E07: Maybe Sparrow It's Too Late

Over the last few weeks, I've been re-watching Game Of Thrones, from the beginning, with my wife (who held out until very recently from the bloody allure of this show). I have to say that my sense of the cascading consequences of the War Of The Five Kings is much stronger now. Did you know that Qyburn was the last survivor at Harrenhal, and was rescued by Robb Stark? Doesn't that alter your perspective on whatever he's doing to Gregor Clegane (who killed everybody else at Harrenhal) right now?

But it seems like everybody's sense of cascading consequences in general is sharper now, thanks to Cersei, who we have watched sprint full speed into a self-constructed brick wall over the last seven episodes. It's not so much that she made a series of bad decisions so much as she made one single catastrophic decision (to give weapons and power to religious extremists) and then did not stop to reconsider or correct herself at fifty or sixty crucial junctures. She walked blithely past every emergency exit, and now she's trapped. I wonder if Ayatollah Price will make her share a cell with Queen Marge? That would be a lot of fun.

Speaking of cells, what's with the disparity between Jaime's luxury suite at the Burj Dorne and Bro(nn)'s prison cell? I mean, I know that Bro(nn) gets to have girls showing him their boobs all day long, but what about the other amenities?! Poor Jaime, meanwhile, has decided to be a stealth father to his daughter just in time for her moody teen years. Terrible timing, Jaime. Is your watch ALSO missing a hand?

Up North, Maester Aemon passes away--the penultimate Targaryen now gone from this earth. Well, not this earth, necessarily. That earth, wherever Westeros is. Anyway, RIP good buddy. Of course, his death comes just after Jon departs, taking with him Tormund Giantsbane, a few of Stannis's ships, and the angry glares and ill-wishes of roughly half the Night's Watch. So you know, maybe he could have hung on a little longer for Sam and Gilly's sake. They're going to have a rough go of it. 

Not as rough as Sansa, of course, who is now sporting some sickening bruises and is stressed out enough to try and trust Theon again, asking him to bring a distress message to her loyal Northern folk. Bad idea! Never trust Theon! Just kill Theon! He rats her out to Ramsey, and the fierce old lady who made a show of solidarity with Sansa last week gets brutally killed for it. But you know, Brienne is nearby and Sansa has a corkscrew now, so maybe they'll figure it out? Maybe?

The major action happens with Tyrion and Jorah, who are sold and taken to a fighting pit in Mereen. "But Zac," you say,  "Dany stopped all the slavery in Mereen, did she not?" Well, their owner gives them one coin each, which makes them "not slaves" if not exactly free men. And if that depresses you, well, let's just say you should probably mute the term "Clinton Foundation" on your Twitter app. 

Twist after twist piles up after that, like a car accident on the freeway caused by M. Night Shyamalan. Dany turns out to be making the rounds to this very fighting pit, and so Jorah storms out there and kicks some ass. When he reveals himself to Dany, she's as cold as ever, asking for him to be removed from her sight. And THEN Tyrion breaks out at the last minute, and introduces himself to Danaerys. That's right--the ultimate team up just happened. And it happened so abruptly that I still feel like I haven't processed it. Dany and Tyrion together. What more do we even want? Should the show maybe just end, right now?