BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES S2E8: Throw Momma From The Train

So have I mentioned yet that you should totally read the Song Of Ice And Fire books? You should. I only just finished book 1, because I'm always screencapping TV shows instead of reading books or participating in culture in any meaningful way, but I very much enjoyed it and am very much looking forward to the next however-many. Even though it unfolds in almost exactly the same way as the show, jumping from character to character at usually the exact same moments (you'd think the show would be inclined to cut around more). There's more Ned and Jon and less Rob and Theon, that's about the biggest difference. And Dany's motivations are clearer, sort of (she has some important dreams).

Anyway I meant to fold episode 8 into my recap of 7, but I forgot. Which is too bad, because basically nothing happens in this one. And now I don't want to attach it to episode 9, because that one is AWESOME and I don't want to drag the recap down with the repetitive dead weight of this one. I mean, I know you need a little calm before the storm, but this episode for real felt like "We only have nine episodes of story and HBO wants ten in the can." FOR INSTANCE: Last time, Dany was invited to The House Of The Undying. In this episode: she tries to decide if she should go to The House Of The Undying. That's it! The same thing happens with Tyrion, who is still fretting about Stannis's approaching army, and Jon Snow, who is still captive among the Wildlings. They've got his former commander too, who starts whispering to Jon to be the Leo to his Martin Sheen in The Departed. Emphasis back there on "starts" talking about it, because the idea doesn't come to fruition until episode ten, when this dude and Jon go full-on Dumbledore/Snape. And just generally, characters all over the map seem to be repeating sentiments they've been making clear all season long--you could almost start watching the show here and be able to keep up.

Treading water is one thing, but going backwards is even more frustrating. And in this episode Cercei is immediately returned her evil self, attempting to kidnap Tyrion's lady to hold as ransom (because Tyrion refuses to talk Joffrey out of fighting in the battle). It's got a kind of funny twist though: Cercei captured the wrong ho (it's kind of a funny joke about Cercei's inability to relate to other women. They all look the same to her)! Tyrion manages not to show his hand and rushes back to Lisbeth Salander in his chambers. They have a very touching moment together--and I don't even mean a sex scene, for once! It's totally sweet. Those two are doomed.

The biggest and best step forward in this episode involves Arya and (who else?) Murder Genie. Tywin hits the road, so Arya starts looking for an exit. When Murder Genie asks for a name, she gives him his own. Bound by his own very strange moral system, Murder Genie begs her to unname him. She does, in exchange for a promise to help her and Gendry escape Alcatraz. True to his word, Murder Genie kills all the guards and leaves them propped up by their posts (your basic Weekend At Bernie's), and Arya, Gendry and their friend Augustus Gloop walk right out the front gate.

The second biggest move in this episode comes when Robb finds out Cat released Jamie Lannister. Furious with her, he puts her under tent arrest and promptly fucks the shit out of the slutty nurse, seemingly dismissing the arranged marriage his mother signed him up for last season. That seems entirely reasonable, and I'll kind of be pissed if it comes back to bite Robb. When Filch hears he'll just be like, "Yeah, four arranged marriages was probably an extravagant toll." But seeing the nurses's butt is pretty small reward for the extravagant toll that is this episode. Even the final twist, that Bran et al. are still alive, is too obvious to be particularly cathartic. I can't believe this took an hour! Nothing happened! But all will be forgiven next week.