BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES, S4E02: Just Desserts

Now that was a party, huh?

I think Game Of Thrones should employ occasional title cards, like Parks and Rec does. Because while sometimes you don't need to advertise your title, when it's something like "Flu Season 2" or, in this case, "The Lion And The Rose," you just KNOW that some shit is about to go down.

And down it does go, with blood spurting out of its nose. But let's not eat the pie before the rest of the meal.

Ramsay Snow, that old chestnut, is still hanging out with our old pal Theon--or, most of him. They while away the hours playing the Most Dangerous Game until Roose Bolton rolls into town with his big dumb Frey wife and his creepy eyeballs and his friend Choppy McHandremover. What's the deal with Ramsay's lady friend with the bow and arrow? Dark Timeline Arya, I guess? I like her! Anyway, nothing new about the Boltons--they're still evil as fuck. Moving on!

It seemed like Stannis and company were ready to set sail for the north at the end of last season, but it turns out they're still hanging around on Dragonstone, burning family members and having the most awkward dinner parties in the world. Am I the only one who started to sympathize with Melisandre? She looked SO uncomfortable. I mean I'm still not necessarily Team Mel but I am definitely Team Mrs. Stannis Is A Psychopath. Again, no major movements here.

We don't check in with Mr. Ice or Ms. Fire, but we do pop in on Bran above the wall, where he has a vision that shares a lot of imagery with Dany's acid trip at the end of Season 2. That shot of the Iron Throne with snow falling on it is some striking shit, even if it is very Sucker Punch.

In King's Landing, where we spend the majority of our time, the long-pending Tyrion/Shae breakup finally happens. It's only grim because Tyrion and Bronn seem so bummed about it. Remember when the three of them had slumber parties during the war? It was a simpler time. Whatever--she had to go. The more significant coupling and uncoupling happens at what will come to be known as The Purple Wedding (I don't really remember why--maybe because that's the color of Joffrey's corpse's face at the end? Sorry, I keep getting ahead of myself!).

Joffrey and Margaery get hitched, and it's as grim and awkward a spectacle as you might imagine, though there are some delightful conversations between Tywin and Lady Olenna as well as Jaime and Loras Tyrell (we finally meet his father in this episode, too--Lorax Tyrell, who speaks for the trees, as you well know). Also, Ricky Martell continues to live la vida loca all around town, and everyone is happier for it.

And then Joffrey finally fucking dies, apparently poisoned at his own wedding feast. I hope you enjoyed it, you blood-thirsty monsters. It was pretty sweet, right? HAHAHAHAWWW YEAH.

Lotta recurring images in this episode which echo each other with no particular thematic significance. Pouring out wine, destroying books. I'm not saying you can't do Wire-style parallelism, but if you are going to bring it, you've got to bring it, you know? Which isn't to say that the last five minutes of this episode are not Zapruder-film-like in their rich potential for dissection, but I will let you all speculate wildly until next week. WHODUNIT? We owe them a beer, obvi.