BLOGGING GAME OF THRONES, S4E03: When The Ship Comes In

There are no good guys in Game Of Thrones. And of course, I’m including Alex Graves, DB Weiss, and David Benioff in that. Because, I mean, like, OH SHIT! Is this show broken? Did they break it? They might have.

If I had to sum this episode up in three words, I think I’d go with A LITTLE MUCH. The editing and in that first scene? A LITTLE MUCH. The Hound slurping his soup? A LITTLE MUCH. (Didn’t it seem cold? Was that Rabbit gazpacho?) Jaime raping Cersei next to Joffrey’s corpse? OK, A LOT MORE THAN A LITTLE MUCH.

I suppose I can understand the justification, in the end, for reminding people that Jaime is not the best dude. He shoved Bonus Jonas out a window, and it wasn’t even that long ago. So, OK, fine, he was drifting a little too close to the “hero” end of the “anti-hero” spectrum, I guess, but in their attempt to pull him back, our showrunners miscalculated like, a lot.* Understand—that scene was not in the books. And in the books, Jaime still has a lot of interesting stuff to do. He doesn’t get murdered in the next episode. But now he kind of has to, right? OK, maybe not, but his road to redemption is suddenly a lot steeper, and for seemingly no good reason. To complicate matters EXTREMELY further, several white men involved in the making of this show aren't so sure it was rape. Want to hear what they have to say about it? WHY WOULD YOU.

Take a look at the content warnings of the last two episodes. HBO seems to think it was rape, at least!

(*A couple of days ago, I watched an episode of the Sundance series The Writer’s Room, in which Weiss and Benioff talked with Jim Rash about their process. “Huh,” I thought, as I watched it. “These guys seem kind of dumb.” It was worrisome. And then the other shoe very non-consensually dropped.)

UGH. ANYWAY, all hail the new king, Tommen, all wet clay and dimwitted smiles. I’m sure he’ll be fucking great at it. Whatever. Oh--also, Littlefinger is (probably) the one who killed Joffrey, and he has spirited Sansa away to relative safety.

Up north, Samwise Gangrene wonders what to do about Gilly. Being more sensitive to the issues of rape culture than the creators of the show he is on, Old Sam decides that she’d be safer cleaning up jizz at a whorehouse in a town a few miles from the horde of horny men in every dark corner Castle Black. This strikes me as a misguided decision, but again, other people have done worse. Like Alex Graves, DB Weiss, and David Benioff, say.

 

 Meanwhile, Jon Snow argues against going on the offensive against the Wildling army, but is suddenly up in arms when he hears that the former Night’s Watchmen who killed the Lord Commander have gone all Kurtz at Craster’s Keep. Those guys have to be stopped, Jon argues. “How is that different?” asks Wooly Willy. Well, Jon Snow hasn’t banged any of those folks, so he is free to kill them, Wooly! Duh! Also, is this really Jon Snow’s call to make? Who is even in charge ANYWHERE anymore?

 

The most delightful set of scenes comes at Dragonstone, where Davos AKA Jon Swanson is in top (warm, funny) form and Stannis is grumpily but clearly explaining his thought process and difficult political position. These are my favorite scenes, lately. You know, the common talking point among fans is that since the series is called A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE, our true heroes are probably Jon Snow and Dany. Ice and Fire. But what if Dany is a fake out? Remember that in early seasons of the show, she was very concerned that she might someday descend into madness. What if she does? Who is going to carry the fire? What if it is…Stannis? What if that dude is actually the hero of this show? Won’t that be kind of…awesome?

Not that I am not still as firmly Team Dany as a person can be. As is her custom, she closes out this episode with another moment of effortless badassery, delivering a speech to the slaves of Mereen that leaves their masters terrified and confused about the state of her soldier's penises. Emilia Clarke has also perfected her bored, sexy, casually fearless stare, and it doesn’t leave her face for ten straight minutes. I know that this is the same old Dany shtick, but it works on me, and I don’t care!

I don't even have to caption her shit anymore! Dany does all the work!